i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
