bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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