just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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