so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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