discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize