things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
