Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize