Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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