i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
