Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize