just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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