More tranny stories later!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
