i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
