I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
