Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
