you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize