Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
