They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
