i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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