he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
