the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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