Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
