I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
