Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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