Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you mean i was at the winter classic?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
