Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
