He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I seem to have left my pride at pride
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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