think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
