pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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