went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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