Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
ttyl tear gas
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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