Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
