who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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