I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
