listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
