tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
