If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
