Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Randomize
