I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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