so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
