Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
