...so i touched it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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