Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
