I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i think im in europe. pls send help
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