Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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