3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
