My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
