There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
