Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
