Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
