D3 body, D1 cock
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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