That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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