Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
