he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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