You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
