Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
