It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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