I think im going to throw up on grandma
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
