Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
we made out on top of his cat.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
