Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
