Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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