If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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