Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
