the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
high people should be assigned attendants
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize