If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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