what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
